Rosie Pink Picks Berries

This week, Rosie Pink and I went Berry Picking. These are some things she learned as a first time woods scrounger.

1.       Pick the hottest day of the year (especially if you are made of wool.) Put on long pants a long sleeve shirt, a hat and possibly gloves. These protect you from the thorns,  and you can think to yourself. I will appreci

2.       Get a bowl and if you are smart a bucket, clippers and a stick.ate these berries in the winter when there is a foot of snow and I think I will Never Be Warm Again. Make a mental picture of this for said day in winter.

3.       Go into the woods. Wander through the berry bushes noting that the more prickers, the fewer berries.

Notice that although there are many blackberry brambles, there are really not very many blackberries, not even very many unripe blackberries.

4.       Find the wine berries, these of course, are in the middle of the patches. 

Now Rosie noticed that wineberry stickers are really not too rough. But the multifloral roses next to them really like to bite. Perhaps she should have had a canvas coverall to protect those beautiful feathers!

5.       Pick as many berries as you can from each location, even if you trip over logs that are covered with green stuff. “I will let the people have the berries, I think the bugs are super to nibble.”She exclaimed.

6.       Sing weird songs and do a snake dance to warn critters you are coming and are ferocious and they should slither away quickly. Flamingos have a very harmonic way of warding off snakes.

7.       Attempt to keep the bowl steady as the thorns are ripping your clothes off.

8.       It is ok to get “lost” in a briar patch because, possibly, someone might show up and lead you out, or your feathers will get shredded and you can emerge and grow a new set. This is where the clippers and bucket come in handy. You have been carrying the clippers in the bucket and now you can take them out and cut a path. Oh you forgot the clippers? Oh you can’t figure out how to get them without shredding your clothes and having to start all over next time? Remember that!

9.       Remember what poison ivy looks like and try not to grab it or the multifloral rose stems as you try and get out of the patch.

10.   Rosie thinks that she would prefer to sit and enjoy the flowers.

 Or perhaps run the mower around those thorns. But then she probably won’t enjoy the berries either.

   Actually Rosie would prefer to go to a fancy restaurant and have escargot, chocolate ants and berry bugs served on crystal plates… And have someone else pay for the meal.

If any of my few readers cares to contribute to the adventures, feel free to comment and make suggestions as to Rosie's next adventure

Dance the Night Away

Rosie flew herself to the Alhambra. "Such a Romantic Spot." she mused, " I love the Arabic architecture and the best part of course is the lovely gardens." She stashed her blanket, beach ball and shrimp basket behind a beautifully sculpted bush and went to the Most Perfect School of Flamenco Dance.

What a time she had. Soon Rosie was twirling and stomping with the best of them. She had no need of a fan, her beautius wings gave just the right touch of flirtatiousness. Castanets? who wanted them, she clacked her beak just right. "I could be the queen of Fantasia," she chirped and all the other dancers agreed.

Can Flamingos Really Speak Spanish?

Days later, wing weary and bleary eyed, Rosie spotted some little fishing boats, “Cool,” she thought, “ I have arrived. Spain Here I Come.”

Rosie Pink landed in the crow’s nest of one of the boats, “Wow, this is pretty dizzy up here. I feel a little ill. No wonder crows are so cranky.” She heard men chattering below in a language she almost understood, “that doesn’t sound like Florida Spanish” “Ola,” she called down, “ Me yamma is Rosie Pink.  Has ta  mon nona mesa megos.

(Of course Rosie, being a flamingo has very poor comprehension of Spanish and other Human languages, but she tried.)

One man looked up, pointed and all of them made strange cackling and hooting noises.

“Well,” an indignant Rosie huffed, “ How. Rude.” It is so uncomfortable here, I am dizzy and a little seasick, and I am NOT a crow to be laughed at. And I tried to be polite and talk to them. “ She gave a flap and leap (not easy on a tippy boat) and took off again.

Up Up and Away

Off she headed, took her bearings and aimed east.  Rosie flew for a long time, way out over the waves. She spotted whales and dolphins and then this giant set of teeth flew up out of the water and snapped at her heels. “whooaaa wow… Sharks” she squeaked. “I had better up the ante, higher and faster. “

Rosie flew for.ever (more or less) and was feeling dead beat when a Kindly Whale offered her his back. “ I have been checking you out Ms Pink, that was quite the swoop you made away from the Great White back there.

“Holey Moly, that was something wasn’t it? I really appreciate this ride. I don’t know if I would manage that trick again right now.”

“Where are you headed?”

“On my way to Spain, I want to learn to be a Flamenco Flamingo. Also I hear they speak Spanish and love shrimp. It is my kind of place. I may also find a really cool casa to hang in.”

“Don’t know about that, I’m partial to plankton myself. What takes you so far away?

“I have a yen for distant shores and a new type of nest. The swamp mud is SO BROWN.” Spain seemed like a good idea this morning, didn’t know it was so far away.”

Rosie and the Kindly Whale drifted peacefully for several hours. Just as she was rested and ready to stretch her wings again, the Whale mentioned he was hungry.

“I don’t think you want to do a plankton dive with me Ms. Pink.”

“Nope,” quipped Rosie, “You are a right slippery fellow, but I am grateful for the ride.”

“Any time missy, you just be safe and let any of my cousins know if you need a ride. I sure wish I could come ashore and see that Flamenco Dance. You are going to be some fancy Flamingo.”

The Kindly Whale took a huge breath and just as he sank under the waves, Rosie Pink flapped her wings and was up high enough to avoid leaping sharks. As she looked back, she saw the whale slap his tail in a huge farewell.

A Flying Leap

“Blue Bert, what’s snapping is me.  I am leaving the swamp, fluffing the mud from my wings, hitting the clouds. I am off to find a fine place to live. I want color and trees and sun. I want a fancy new nest.  Most of all I want to do something more than stand around on one leg all day. I  want to play polo, run with the bulls or drink pink champagne. Know what I mean?”

“mmglfllg” muttered Blue Bert around his grub. “Not really. I mean, it’s pretty great here all the grubs and snakes I want, and of course Every One thinks I am Soooo Beautiful.” Blue Bert preened his feathers. “ And they are right, my blues are so glossy and the greens so sparkly….”

“OHHHH” huffed Rosie Pink, “even you. All you need is a mirror.”  Rosie bundled up her blanket with everything in it. Ran down the sand and took a flying leap.